Am I Too Old for This? The Middle Age Conundrum

 

Have you ever asked yourself the question, “Am I too old for this?”  I asked this question today. I bought some hair extensions Yep. I did. Despite working really hard to allow my hair a chance to grow long, it won’t cross this line. I think my hair is in defiance just like my ovaries. “Nope, nothing else to give ya darlin”, I imagine this said in a very strong brogue.  Well then, I’m stubborn and, by golly, there’s a way around this! Hence, the purchase.

I chose Pro Extensions (clip-in). Pretty interesting concept. Easy to “put in”.

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Stay tuned. I will do a separate review about the extensions in the next few days.

So, I am rounding the corner toward 50 and in the throws of menopause. Maybe I’m in a crisis? Maybe. But I’d like to think I am someone who thinks about age in terms of experience, like “the older you are the more opportunities you’ve explored” kind of person.

If you question, “whether or not you are too old” for something, well, that’s a normal conundrum, but then again, I hope your next thought is “so what?”? The more important question is, “does it make you happy, lift your spirits, encourage?”

Go for it. Sky dive. Start a company. Adventure. Take the trip. Dare. Do something new (maybe a new ‘do’). You’re not too old. (says the woman with long platinum extensions in her head). (wink, wink)

 

The Secret Garden

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We explore and adventure to find less and less untouched places. Undiscovered land, ocean and sky appears almost extinct. In one moment everything seems in reverse when a “spot of earth” seems to “find” us. The wonder of it catches our breath. We find ourselves surprised that we are surprised by the secret garden.

love- volatile and safe, adventure and surrender, noun and verb, concrete and abstract, sharp and kind

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I can’t remember a time that I didn’t believe there was a world more real than the one we see. But today I feel it more surely, like knowing the waxing and waning schedule of the moon, never doubting how it will brighten the night sky. We wait expectantly. I believe LOVE is much the same. Even in our darkest, doubtful, dreadful moments we give a silent nod of respect to this foundation called LOVE. We can’t ignore it. We crave it. We want to understand but also to be understood. We’re wired with tenacity and curiosity, belief and hope that we can go deeper still as the divine voice faintly sings something familiar and we forge ahead to get closer to the LOVE source.

LOVE is that subtle but sure foundation that causes us to believe and pursue the best in us. We seek while also wanting to be found. Love keeps us curious and busy roaming back roads forgotten. It keeps us searching for poetry, writing new (and old) lyrics, looking with longing eyes to the places all around and within that we know can and should be redeemed. It compels us to give weight to whispers, nudges and inklings not fully understood but heard in our soul. It brings a song in the night. LOVE truly is beautifully breathtaking.

LOVE, and the pursuit of living love fully, pushes us past our perceived boundaries, surprising even our own selves in a moment’s notice. It’s volatile and safe, adventure and surrender, noun and verb, concrete and abstract, sharp and kind.

It is the answer to most of our questions.

Love.

My Dear Daddy

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The blessings of a wonderful daddy are so numerous and they keep unfolding like presents throughout my life. Near Father’s Day as I recount the gift of my dad, I always think of those who have had a father but not a daddy. I think of those mourning that their dad’s time on earth seemed too short. I am confident that in all of the grief points, I hear these people whispering “count your blessings, Sonya”. And I do.

I am grateful for my dad who is invested in family. As I’ve become older I realize even more the dedication it takes to prioritize for those we love. I can turn around and see the busy places of my childhood are always punctuated by a dad who gave of himself…still gives of himself. As a child, our family vacations were going to see aunts, uncles and cousins. He was intentional about giving me the beautiful gift of connection. I understand it now only in hindsight. He’s so wise.

I am grateful for my dad who carries my burdens as his own. He always lets me know he’s there for me to lean on. He’s a praying man and I can count on the fact that my name will be lifted to the heavens each day. He recently fasted and prayed for me in my health battles. I have no words for the explosion in my heart. Gratitude rises at the mention of my dad.

I am grateful for my dad who cares. Yes, he’s a strong and mighty one, but he is also tender. I’m sure his male brain got quite the workout raising three girls. 😉 I remember during a teenage heartbreak, dad came in my room and let me sob on his shoulder. And after a while he had me look at him and he said “Well, does it help that I still love you?”.  I laughed through my tears. He has that gift of wittiness. And the answer to that question is “Yes”. “Yes daddy, it IS and always has been a help to know you love me”.

I can’t wait for our next fishing, gardening, eating, laughing adventure together. Because you better believe being with MY dad means we are IN an adventure.

As I celebrate my dad, I have such longing for the world -that this day bring thoughts of gratitude to the surface. And for those who mourn, I long for them as well, that the source of Joy fill each one with much hope.

Happy Father’s Day

 

You Don’t Belong?

You don’t fit in? Are you disappointed that you find yourself in the midst of something…somewhere, and instantly know you don’t belong? You DO know that this is progress, right? 

It’s like finding an old pair of shoes in the cedar chest. (Do people still use those?) They used to be your favorite. They were so perfect. The fit was “just right” and they were so stylish! But, they don’t fit anymore. Or maybe they don’t fit YOU in your current lifestyle. You’ve changed. That’s ok. You can still appreciate them for what they WERE. Admiration and thankfulness are always in vogue but it doesn’t mean you wear the beautiful heels on the mountain hike. 

We are designed for growth and change, spontaneity and …wardrobe changes. Knowing where we don’t belong (or what doesn’t fit) is really the first step in our new adventure. Maybe it’s time to shop for hiking boots. 

Trees line up to greet you…

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The symbolism in nature often takes my breath away. I saw this picture on my friend’s FB wall and immediately thought about how we journey to roads of adventure. But there is a road that leads home. When we journey back, we find…

The trees line up to greet you. They stand tall but bend and drape their branches up and over to shield and protect. Like friends and family, they welcome the wanderer home.

The Forrest Finn Treasure

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I’m about 5 years late to this party, but I have finally arrived. What party? you might ask. Well, I heard about this man named Forrest Finn. Even his name sounds like a fictitious character in a novel, but guess what? He’s a real live person.  I’ve read and seen interviews and plan to read his books. This interesting man, artifacts dealer, explorer, decided to invite others to “The Thrill of the Chase”. That’s the name of his book where he explains how he hid a small treasure chest north of Santa Fe somewhere in the Rocky Mountains. It’s filled with gold coins, gems, artifacts…I am so intrigued. I mean I’m the person who does somersaults when finding a beautiful rock, a shark’s tooth, a piece of driftwood, so you can only imagine my brain is in overdrive, devouring information, trying to decipher the 9 clues that this gentleman left in a poem.

In the midst of my churning brain, I am also intrigued with the concept of risk and adventure. What role does this play in our life? Is it healthy? Can we be adventure seekers while being content? I think the answer is “yes” and I don’t think I’m trying to justify my “obsession”. Honestly. I’m not. I’ve been on a personal journey, a quest if you will, where I am pursuing this: the art of being content while contending. hmmm, let me say it another way. It’s like in my best moments I’m holding hands with two friends, “thankfulness” on one hand, and “dreaming” on the other. And BOTH are so vital to living a full, rich life. (no pun intended)

Seeking denotes a few things about us. 1. that we don’t know everything. 2. that we are teachable. I think we innately want to ask questions. We want the quest, SOME quest, some story, some victorious moment that required resolute determination. This is only possible if there is something   just.  out.  of.  reach. It involves just a handful of clues…and an open mind. In essence, this quest is a microcosm of life. Wouldn’t you agree? And along the journey, we may realize the greatest gift of the journey is the adventure along the way; the sights and sounds of that which intrigues, warms, speaks to us at the core of our being. The journey may be just as valuable as the treasure we seek.

Even if I never found THAT treasure, I’d rather have a life full of adventure.  Wouldn’t you?

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