Am I Too Old for This? The Middle Age Conundrum

 

Have you ever asked yourself the question, “Am I too old for this?”  I asked this question today. I bought some hair extensions Yep. I did. Despite working really hard to allow my hair a chance to grow long, it won’t cross this line. I think my hair is in defiance just like my ovaries. “Nope, nothing else to give ya darlin”, I imagine this said in a very strong brogue.  Well then, I’m stubborn and, by golly, there’s a way around this! Hence, the purchase.

I chose Pro Extensions (clip-in). Pretty interesting concept. Easy to “put in”.

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Stay tuned. I will do a separate review about the extensions in the next few days.

So, I am rounding the corner toward 50 and in the throws of menopause. Maybe I’m in a crisis? Maybe. But I’d like to think I am someone who thinks about age in terms of experience, like “the older you are the more opportunities you’ve explored” kind of person.

If you question, “whether or not you are too old” for something, well, that’s a normal conundrum, but then again, I hope your next thought is “so what?”? The more important question is, “does it make you happy, lift your spirits, encourage?”

Go for it. Sky dive. Start a company. Adventure. Take the trip. Dare. Do something new (maybe a new ‘do’). You’re not too old. (says the woman with long platinum extensions in her head). (wink, wink)

 

What to do when we feel like “Cousin Itt”

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Remember Cousin “Itt”? The crazy ‘hair-in-the-face” cousin on the “Addams Family”? Oh, wow, who in the world thought of this one? I’ll tell ya. Probably someone going through menopause or some type of hormonal storm. I’ve seen Cousin “Itt” in the mirror in the last few years. Shocking, I know. But I have a strategy in play now

What to do when we feel more like “Cousin Itt” than ourselves?

  1. Talk to yourself nicely. Yep. Do it. You’re not crazy, I promise. We must talk to ourselves with kindness and praise, using our empowering “I am” statements. They speak louder and truer than our demeaning criticisms.
  2. Believe. Believe with confidence that “This too shall pass”. I know, easier said than done. But it will. Nothing ever stays the same. (good or bad, change will come).
  3. Don’t. When in doubt, we don’t do it. If we don’t have clarity about a next step, we don’t pretend we do. Waiting is NOT our enemy in this odd space, waiting is our friend.
  4. Be honest. Acknowledge feeling “off” is part of life. Everyone experiences this. We’re normal. It’s really ok to let someone know we don’t feel as ‘dazzling and smashing’ as we appear. 😉 Lock “guilt” and “shame” in the closet. They don’t belong here. Say “I love you” more, not less.
  5. Be quiet. Yes, really. Trust me on this one. Zip that lip. If we don’t feel like “us”, then we need to wait until we at least agree with ourselves before waxing “eloquently” in conversation. 😉  Why does the crazy-brained one want to talk so much? I don’t know.
  6. Say “no”. The world will not collapse if we “bow out”. I can hear your “buts”. They’re flimsy. Give it up, sweetie-pie. Say “NO” It’ll be ok.
  7. Nourish your body and soul. We must listen to our inner small voice. Pray, read, listen, meditate. To the best of our ability, we need to choose the good stuff. Sleep longer, eat the veggies, laugh heartily…we KNOW what we need. Maybe 20 minutes of “I Love Lucy” is just the right entertainment for the night. Take a walk, look for beauty, drive the scenic route…
  8. Ask. Ask for what we need. There are no mind-readers in our house. (I was surprised to learn this). We have to really be intentional to communicate what we know we need. There are plenty of times we won’t have any idea, but when we do, we MUST grow up and ask. We all take turns needing. Next time, we can be the giver, but right now we are the ask-er. Own it.
  9. Apologize. If we did not make it through #5, chances are we might have some apologies to make. It’s ok. Grace is available. We don’t need to make excuses. Just apologize and mend quickly. Love deeply. Share freely to get back to every part of us possible.
  10. Breathe. (10 minutes to peace) I’m talking about the deep in your soul kind of breathing. No shallow huffs and puffs. Set the timer for 5 minutes of the deepest and longest breaths you can manage. Now set it for 5 more minutes. Let’s close our eyes (continue to breathe deeply) while imagining the most beautiful and restful place. (I choose a beach for my destination). Stay there 5 minutes. Don’t leave. I know we’re tempted. Stay. It’ll be worth it.

Before we know it,  we’ll be feeling like ourselves again. I won’t lie, I know this season can last from minutes to years, but in the process (no matter how long) we will always be glad we were proactive. No loss in trying, right? And in the end, we might find that we have grown so that the “old” us isn’t the best version anymore.

Now, let’s not kid ourselves, those raging hormones and volatile emotions (Itt) will come knocking again.  I think it helps to have a plan when the doorbell rings. And we might just have the courage and foresight to dead-bolt the door.